Blog # 14 Mr. and Mrs. Smith (Gertrude Said It #2)

          Jane Smith once said, “Happy endings are just stories that haven’t finished yet.” And you know what? I totally agree.  Life’s always going to be messy. People will always be hiding things, and sometimes you need to spin a web of lies to uncover the truth.  Just like my favorite chick flick/spy thriller, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, my life and the people in it seem to be revolving around lies and trickery. Just like the two main characters (husband and wife/secret spies), I feel that my son and I are always hiding something from each other.  John and Jane Smith are trained assassins working for competing organizations, and in a way, you could say that Hamlet and I are on two different sides, always trying to get one step ahead of the other, keeping secrets. Like I’ve always said, “More matter, with less art.” (2.2.95) I really hate when people dance around their point, just like I hate elaborate lies. But sometimes, lying is a necessity (for me, of course, there’s no justification for Hamlet lying).

          The plan Polonius and I have created to spy on Ophelia and Hamlet will require some secrets, but only in the hopes of returning my son to a normal mental state. I totally agreed with Polonius when he said that, “if circumstances lead me, I will find where truth it his, though it were hid indeed within the centre.” (2.2.156) Isn’t that the point of spying? I’m sure John and Jane Smith would agree that a lie is only forged in the hopes of uncovering truth or protecting loved ones.  Polonius also said that a, “bait of falsehood takes [the] carp of truth.” (2.1.61) Sure, I’m lying, but let’s be real, who isn’t?
            Hamlet himself has been trying to hide something from me for days, but I’m a mother with instincts. I know Hamlet’s not really insane- it’s all an act.  I’m not exactly sure why he’s doing it yet, but just like Mr. and Mrs. Smith, I feel that the truth will come out eventually. Just the other day, I heard Hamlet being all crazy and mumbling something to himself in the other room.  I didn’t catch all of it, but I did hear him say that he would put on an “antic disposition” (1.5.172) which I can only imagine means he is faking his insanity.  But why?! Just a wild guess, but it could have something to do with my marrying his uncle.  In Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Benjamin (the prisoner they are both assigned to kill) makes quite a coincidental comment about marriage. “Oh, I must have missed that day. Just like you missed the one about not marrying the enemy.” Yes, I guess you could say I married Hamlet’s enemy and that may be the source of his frustration. Because of this, I’m afraid that he is formulating a plan behind my back, similar to the paranoia I imagine Mrs. Smith must have had regarding her husband. Yesterday, he said, “the play’s the thing, wherein I’ll catch the conscience of the king.” (2.2.532). Why are we hiding so many things from each other? I’m his mother for crying out loud! Maybe it’s okay in the movies, but in reality, I’m just plain scared of my own son.